Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts

Friday, 11 January 2019

10 Tips to Deal with Long Distance Relationships

Hello all!

(Shoutout to Friday Night Dinner ayy)



I met my boyfriend, Sam, on a ski season 13 months ago. We've always been long distance; he lives a 3 hour drive away from where I am, and when I'm at uni that grows to 7 hours. But none of that compares to now, Sam is in France for 5 months on a ski season and I'm at home, going about my day to day life.

I wanted to write today about some of my 'tips' on coping with long distance relationships. Although every relationship is different, hopefully some of the experiences I have had and things I have learnt will help people doing the same thing.

1. Communication

I know this is the number one of every relationship guide but I have learnt recently just how important and different communication is in a long distance relationship.  Whether it's over the phone or texting, things can be so easily misinterpreted. Tell them if you're having a bad day or if you particularly miss them. Let them know if they're doing something that annoys you. If you cope by distracting and busying yourself, tell them you might not be around much during the day. I found it particularly hard in moments where Sam and I had not spoken and he's not replying and I'm just overthinking. By just telling me that he is working and will be around to call at 8 pm, I instantly felt better. 

2. Talk before hand

For those that are just beginning the long distance journey, use your time together to talk about any worries, boundaries or ground rules you may have. As I said, talking face to face is so much easier for those kind of conversations and that way you'll have all the harder stuff figured out before. Try to be optimistic though. Talk about the things you're going to do while they're away, talk about what you can do when they come back. Start planning visits (if you can), to break up the large chunk of time. 

3. MAKE TIME

This one we're still working on. I don't mean just calling everyday, I mean setting aside times when you're both free and can concentrate on each other. That might be everyday, that might be every 4 days, whatever works for you. I make real effort to not be on social media or doing other things while facetiming, although I know it's something I need to work on. Even when Sam was in England, we would facetime mostly at night so it's nice to set aside time so we can chat as long and openly as we would at home.

4. But give space

When you are so far away, on such different schedules, it can be hard knowing when is a good time to talk. If Sam's having a chill night with the boys, I consciously give him space. Sometimes that means not even telling him I'm around because I know that might make him leave early so we can call. It's pushing each other to appreciate the people that are around, whether that's friends or family. Some nights I just want to spend the whole night on the phone, especially if I know Sam's free. But I have had better nights when I've invested in a family card night. I always say to Sam, you're on a season for a reason, so commit! Don't spend the whole time on the phone with me. It's hard to say sometimes but it makes me feel better knowing he's making the most of the opportunity he's had.

5. Get a bit soppy 

It's hard to show someone how much you love them over text or just over the phone. So use your imagination and get a lil bit romantic and mushy. Write letters, send presents (even if it's just a fiver to buy a pint on you), take pictures and sentimental things with you. Just after I got home from university, I was having a really bad day. Sam ordered roses to my house that arrived after the work the next day. Gestures like that mean so much and make you feel so much closer.

6. Understand privacy 

I'm used to having a private relationship, we talk for hours and hours just the two of us and I tell him things I wouldn't share with anyone else. One of the most important things is finding somewhere in your new location (or your partners new location), that you can talk in private. Not * necessarily intimate conversations but to keep your relationship special and between just you. If you find you're suddenly sharing a dorm with 5 girls, find somewhere you can talk away from everyone else. There's nothing more annoying than trying to facetime your partner and being bombarded with strangers who 'want to see you'.

* But clearly! privacy is important for intimate conversations and whatever you chose to do. That seems more obvious though.

7. Engage in each other's lives, even if they are separate 

Making friends with your partners room mates at home or their colleagues at work do's is one thing. Investing in their new friends you may never meet is another. I did a season last year and watched a big 'them v us' situation occur with people in relationships. The partners at home were perceived as the people that were stopping them from going out or spending time with the group. Balance is key here, but there will be a time where you (or your partner) don't go out so you can call. I have chatted to some of the guys Sam is living with and am on friendly terms. I try hard to invest in his life abroad, even if I'm not really part of it. This is especially important if you're going out to visit them.

(Disclaimer: the above is only really applicable in certain situations. Ski seasons have a certain reputation and culture that relationships don't fit into. Not every situation will be the same and a lot of the time, people will be a lot more respectful about other people's relationships!)

8. Busy yourself and self care

I know it won't always feel like it, but I found this a really good time to focus on myself. Invest in relationships at home, spend more time with your family, read more books, try learning a new language! The list goes on.. Use this time to develop yourself in any way you want. If you have exams, use your partners presence as time you can really focus on studying. Maybe go and see a friend at the weekend that you haven't seen in a while. There's so much you can do to fill your time. I have honestly had the best days when I really work on myself, clearing out my room, having a day with my mum. Admittedly, they may be days when my communication is not the most frequent but always makes me feel better, especially if I'm a bit down.

9. Allow yourself to be sad

Long distance relationships are tough and extremely testing. But if what you have is worth it, then it is worth it. Let yourself cry, it's okay to feel sad. I felt pathetic at first, crying over a boy?! But it's normal. The mistake I made was spending the first week of him leaving pretty much alone. Surround yourself with friends, family (or just people).

10. Be Positive!

I wanted to leave this one till the end because it's probably the most important. Don't get bogged down by the idea of a long distance relationship. Approach it day by day and learn to appreciate how amazing it is to have something so worthwhile and amazing in your life. Talk to your partner about what you want to do together in the future. Plan holidays for later in the year! Don't over
complicate things. Be positive and let them know how much you love them.

I know every relationship is different, but hopefully some of these tips were helpful! I didn't want to approach the subject of trust and cheating, it's so personal and not something I could really write about. I trust Sam completely so couldn't advise for any other situations properly.
Long distance relationships are tough, but they'll be back soon, I promise.

Have you got any other advice? I'd love to hear it, just leave a comment below!

Thanks for reading,

Laura x

Thursday, 15 November 2018

My First Month at University: Expectations vs Reality



Hello everyone!

Big news: I'm at university!!

I haven't blogged in a while (well, over a year if I'm honest) but I wanted to start writing again as my own little creative outlet. As much as I love writing essay on the origins of World War I. (History student here so that wasn't ironic in the slightest.) 

The first thing I really wanted to write about is my experience of my first month or so at university. There are so many expectations, pressures and emotions but people only tend to talk about the partying and how much alcohol they consumed. Which is fair enough, I'm the proud owner of about 8 empty bottles of vodka, but it's easy to forget to talk about the harder stuff. So here I go...

While fresher’s week is an overwhelming, party filled week, the reality of the first few weeks of university is different to what we expect. After seeing a never ending stream of fancy dressed, drunken selfies on Instagram, that’s what I thought uni would be full of. And nothing else.

To be brutally honest, the first month of uni has actually been more focused on managing money, missing home and an overall sense of  'I can’t do this'. 

That paints a very bleak picture of university, and I promise that you will also spend a lot of time socialising, working and generally drinking a lot, but I noticed that social media and blogs don’t tend to cover the other, tougher side of university.

I think the first thing that hit me was a weird sense of isolation. Being a very social person and having lived in a room with 6 girls for 5 months on a ski season, I am very used to being around people 24/7. But once my parents left on the day I moved in, there was a sense of what now?! And after speaking to my flatmates about it a bit later, I think a lot of people felt the same. You’re left in a new city, surrounded by strangers but without anything forcing you to leave your room, it is very easy to get a bit isolated.

I think the other thing that people don’t talk about is money. Yes, it’s common knowledge that students are poor, that’s standard. But what is hard to understand, as a first year is how on earth people afford to go out every night of the week, every week. There are 2 answers to that:

1. They don’t. Honestly. Even my friends that love going out all the time don’t go out every night. It’s unrealistic, unaffordable and just plain tiring.

2. A concept that is something that you have to deal with when you get to uni is that everyone will have a different budget. Whether it’s because people get bigger loans or bigger allowances from family, everyone’s different. So sometimes it feels like your trying to keep up with someone that’s miles ahead of you from the start

I think the second reality of university is that apart from a very small minority, people just don’t go out every night. From speaking to people in 1st and 2nd year, it seems like twice/three times a week is most common. Don’t feel like you’re not doing it right just because you’re not out out every night!!

Finally, homesickness. I know most people would think this one was obvious, but not for me. Everyone is different but I have never been someone that gets particularly home sick. I was working in France for 5 months and saw my parents for a total of 3 hours in that whole time and honestly, didn’t get homesick once. 

But the thing about uni that I didn’t really expect is that there is a whole lot of nothingness. Rather than working 9-5 then eating and going out, I have 1 or 2 lectures a day maximum. That means that unless I properly filled my time, there's a lot of time that you spend just in your room/the kitchen/walking to and from uni on your own. And that’s alright. But it does mean that if you have the tendency to get homesick, or even if you don’t, there’s a lot more time in which you’re not distracted and can just sit and think about things. Wallowing in self pity, stress and missing your family. But that might’ve just been me.

Now as I said before, this all paints a pretty negative picture of university. But sometimes when all you hear is ‘freshers is awesome’ and ‘these are the best years of your life’, it’s hard not to feel like you’re the only one going through this. Honestly, everyone does.

Anyway, on a more positive not, I am absolutely loving uni and have found ways to combat every single one of these. And that, you lucky lot, is going to be my next post so make sure to look out for that one!

I really hope you enjoyed this and I'm look forward to writing more,
Welcome back 
Laura x

Monday, 10 July 2017

Girls Holiday: Final Preparations




So you're holiday is in less than a month. Whether it's your first holiday away from your parents or the third time this year, the growing mix of anticipation, excitement and nerves is completely natural. It can be quite daunting travelling without family, especially if it is something that is out of your comfort zone. I'm going on my 'girls holiday' next week so with it all at the top of my mind, I thought it would be a perfect time to write a blog post and help those that may be a bit nervy. So I've compiled a list of checks/tips for the run up to your holiday, enjoy!

1. LISTS LISTS LISTS
I am a self proclaimed list-a-holic. As you may be able to guess. Therefore it comes naturally for me to write lists for just about everything. It might be a good idea to grab a note pad and start listing in preparation for your holiday. Write a list of things you need to take, don't forget the less obvious: plug adaptors, bum bags, shampoo! Write lists about things you need to do: exchange money, research the area your travelling to, book transfers. Write lists about things you need to buy: a new swimming costume, a phrase book? You get the idea.

2. RESEARCH
You booked the holiday, so I am hoping you already know a bit about where you're going. But before you set off, it is a good idea to research in a bit more detail. Where are the closest restaurants/beaches? Is there a theme park you need to save some money for? Are there any activities that you will need to bring specific equipment for? What about the closest doctors in case of an emergency? It is good to know a bit about the area so you know what kind of things you will be doing and how much money you will need, plus it will help avoid that awful sense of lost-ness that we all experience on the first day.

3. HOTEL
With less than a month to go, your accommodation is probably booked. But sometimes when you get to your accommodation they require a deposit, or they will charge for the mini fridge. Knowing what facilities are available and whether or not they're free is always useful. Things to check: WIFI, if you have 2 rooms, can they be next to each other? Do they provide towels? You can find most of this stuff out online but if you're really struggling, it's no problem to email/call the hotel directly.

4. TRANSPORTATION
Easily forgotten but a very important (and sometimes quite expensive) aspect of your holiday. If you're flying and visiting a popular tourist destination then organising transportation to and from the airport is normally easy. If you need to reach airports, trains and organised busses tend to be cheaper than private taxis. But if you're in a small group, and travelling early or no where near a station, splitting the cost of a taxi is a much simpler prospect. Don't forget you'll need to pre-book your travel arrangements for your return journey as well, it will save a lot of stress later on.

5. EXTRIES
You're going away, that means a lot of down time travelling or relaxing if you're going on a beach holiday. Don't forget to download your music, find a book you wanna read, you don't want to be sat on a bus/train/plane with nothing to do or listen to. It's actually a really good time to finally read that book you've always said you wanted to.

6. PACKING
Now comes the fun bit, if admittedly a bit stressful. Before you start, find out any limits on weight limits on your luggage. Sometimes you have a weight limit on both hand luggage and hold all but you want to stick to them! Talking of the two, look down your list (that you should've made by now tut tut) and split it into hand luggage and hold all. You won't want to be carrying loads in your hand luggage, just the necessaries. (Don't forget the liquid restrictions if you're travelling by plane! 10 ml is not a lot.)

7. YOUR FRIENDS
Now I could write a whole separate blog post on things to think about when travelling with friends, and I will if anyone needs it. But to summarise, it is often a good idea to meet up as a group a few days before you leave to sort out any problems. Confirm the sleeping arrangements if you have more than 1 room. Talk about sharing things to avoid packing 5 different body washes and 5 different hair straighteners. Try to all bring a similar amount of money to ensure you're on the same budget, otherwise it could become a problem later when some people can afford to go out while others can't. If you're going somewhere lively, it is especially important to talk as a group about 'rules' for your holiday. It might not sound fun but it is crucial to stay safe, and if that means one person staying sober each night or deciding to look after each other in pairs, then that might be something to talk about before you go. Sorry to sound like a bummer, but my mum would kill me if I didn't put that in and it is probably the most important thing in this whole post.

So that's all I can think of for now but at the end of the day just have fun and stay safe. Don't stress too much about packing and the superficial aspects, you probably won't even remember by day 2 if you've forgotten your favourite dress or not. But get all the big things sorted and your holiday should be stress free and exciting.

Let me know if you can think of any more tips, leave a comment below to help others out! Have fun and I'll speak to you soon,

Laura x
Twitter- laurastone_

Saturday, 3 October 2015

Getting a job: Writing your CV

 
Hiya people,
 
Getting a job ey? A "vital part of growing up" that quickly turns into a stressful ordeal filled with writing, applications and the dreaded interviews. Even though getting your first job is something we all have to do, it's surprisingly hard. When I started looking for a job in the summer of 2014, I thought I would be well on my way by the time September came. October came and went and I was still on the hunt. I had interviews, time clashes, job offers I didn't accept... everything! So I though I'd write a couple of posts on getting your first job. Starting with writing your CV!!

This is such a big subject, it's hard to know where to start. So I thought I'd go through my own CV to help some of you that don't know where to begin.
 
*Ignore the lack of details, I don't really wanna but my real phone number, address and birthday online...*
 


So this is my CV (imagine it's on a word document and filled out properly!) It's a pretty simple set out but has done the job well enough for me. It's important to include your number and email that you're likely to check. As well as contact details for your referees. Okay, now you've seen the layout and heading on my CV, here are some CV do's and don't':

Do...


  • Use clear headings, subtitles and bullet points to make it easy to read
  • Use a professional (or semi professional) email
  • Use power words that link to the job you're looking for. In general, employers love if you use words like 'motivated' 'hard working' and 'organised'
  • Have a mini paragraph at the top that just screams 'hire me!!' Highlight your best points and how they're relevant to the job you're applying for. If there are loads CVs to read through, employers won't spend ages sifting through each CV so sell yourself from the start.
  • Include your grades from Maths and English at GCSE. Even if they weren't the best, it's something employers always like to know
  • Try to include experience and qualifications that are relevant to the job you're applying for. If you're looking to work in a cafĂ© and got A* in DT food at GCSE, mention it. No matter how basic it sounds, it shows a base knowledge that sets you apart from others.
  • Use the previous work to talk about any experience working you have had and the responsibilities/skills you learnt from the experience. As this is your first job, you won't have a previous employer but there's other stuff you could talk about. Babysitting, work experience, volunteering or being paid to waitress at a party all show skills so you should mention them if they're relevant to the job you're applying for.
  • Use an adult from school or your place of work as a referee. Chances are, they won't contact, but just in case, use someone who will actually help you!
  • Ask the person to be your referee before putting them on your CV, it's polite
  • Get someone to proofread your CV once you're done. Just to check for grammar or spelling mistakes that you haven't picked up on
  • Use your experience to show your skills. Everyone says they're a team player but prove it by talking about your experiences on DofE (for example.)

Don't...


  • Use lots of different fonts, colours, text effects (underline and bold here and there is acceptable)
  • Use an unprofessional font e.g comic sans (sorry- it had to be said)
  • Use the email you made when you were 8 years old 'onedirectionlover564@gmail.com'
  • Sound clichĂ© by using words or phrases that could obviously apply to everyone or you found online (oops!) like 'I am passionate about everything I do!'
  • Just list interests and activities that have no relevance to work or skills required. If you're in a lacrosse team, great, that shows team work. If you're applying for a tills job, mentioning that you're an avid bird watcher won't necessarily add anything to your application.
  • Sound too chatty, this is a business deal and you're trying to sell yourself in a professional way
  • Use a fake/ family member as a referee, if they contact them, they will be able to see right through the lie
  • Spell anything wrong... please!!
  • Lie on your CV. This is your first job, they're not looking for a spectacular CV, just one that shows an enthusiastic, hard working person. Lying is not worth the risk
  • Keep rambling or repeating yourself. Make your CV short, to the point and easy to read.
  • Be afraid to sell yourself, but avoid sounding obnoxious and annoying
  • Forget to write a cover letter!


Generally, CVs are around 2 pages long. I would say any longer and you should start cutting some of it out as it's probably not all relevant. If it's a page or a page and half, that's fine. Just keep it concise, relevant and professional.

Cover Letters


Another important document is your cover letter. Whether you're handing in your CV or applying online, a cover letter sets you apart as it shows a real interest in the job. Again, it's important to stay formal throughout. I always open with 'Dear Sir/Madam'.

In your cover letter, you want to talk a little bit about why you're interested in the job, an outline of why you would be a good fit and a bit on why you would like to work for the company. Doing a bit of background research on the company really helps here. I would also put something like "If you wish to contact me, please feel free to call my mobile on...' This makes it even easier for the company to contact you if they're interested.

Always finish politely. 'I look forward to hearing from you.' is a great one, rounded of with 'Yours faithfully...'

I try to include a cover letter wherever possible because it does show a real enthusiasm and interest that the company will like. Loads of teenagers go around town handing their generic CV's to every café in sight, and companies know that. If you have written a cover letter for each place (even if you just replace some of the names and details on the same letter), it will set you apart. It also means you don't have to change your CV for every job you apply for.

How do you finish a letter/email?


This is relevant throughout the job process. Whether you're applying for a job, emailing about interview times or discussing available roles, it's important to stay formal (or at least polite). So how do you end an email correctly?

I think it's something we all get confused at. 'Yours faithfully' is used when you have not used the name of the recipient (whether you do not know it or it's too formal.) For example, if you start with 'Dear Sir', it's correct to finish with 'Yours Faithfully'.

Whereas 'Yours sincerely' is used when you have used the name of the recipient. So if you have said 'Dear Mr Smith', it is fine to finish with 'Yours Sincerely'.

Something like 'Kind Regards' is less formal and shouldn't be used if the letter/email has been formal throughout.

Well there you go, I hope that helped some of you that are trying to write your CV's! I wanted to write this post because my friend was really struggling finding a job so she asked me to check her CV. She has applied to so many places but just wasn't getting the interviews. When I looked at her CV it was colloquial, had spelling mistakes and wasn't relevant to the jobs she was applying for. It kind of shows how important CVs are, even when you're sixteen!! So if you're struggling, have a look through your CV and make sure it's the best it can be.
 
I am going to be doing some more posts related to first jobs if you guys want? Let me know if there are any topics in particular (interviews- outfits, questions, confidence or something like balancing work and school.) Just leave a comment below or tweet me if you're interested!
 
Thanks for reading and see you next time!


Keep reading...
Keeping balanced
Hair dying virgin
 


Saturday, 12 September 2015

Let's talk about... Makeup

Hello everyone,

When I started my blog, I wanted it as a space to talk about anything lifestyle/beauty/fashion related in the context of students. As I know first hand that trying to keep up with all the fashion trends and newest products is hard when you are also writing essays every other day. But I also wanted it as a space where I could talk about other topics that might help some people out. So I've decided to start this series:

"Let's talk about..."

I want to cover a lot of subjects from money to friends to periods, all in the hope that I can help someone who may be struggling. Calling it 'let's talk about...' was on purpose because I want anyone reading my blog to feel comfortable talking to me about any of these subjects if they wish. Whether that's a comment on the post or a private email, I'm always here to talk.

Today is the first in the series and I'm going to be talking about makeup. Not as in the best products or how to put it on, more different misconceptions about makeup and what it's like wearing it as a teen. As a teenage beauty blogger who has a desire to be a professional makeup artist, I feel like my views  may be a little bias. If you disagree or want to add to something I say, please comment! I love to hear other opinions.




First, a little background on my discovery of makeup.

The start of my addiction.
When I was 11 years old, I was on YouTube and stumbled across a makeup channel called SWalkerMakeup. And that was it. I loved both Sarah and her makeup videos and as an 11 year old I would steal my mum's makeup and try and recreate her looks. I was cool, I know. But that got me hooked at a young age. By the time I was 12, I watched A LOT of YouTube. Like a lot. I don't want to sound hipster but I was watching 'Zoella' and 'Sprinkle of Glitter' before they were even friends on YouTube. I loved it all. I would often plan to buy loads of the products they were recommending (despite hardly wearing any makeup) and end up buying one random bronzer or palette. I thought myself a makeup expert, going on and on at my friends about my favourite brands that (at the time) I hadn't even tried.

 I started properly wearing makeup when I was 13 I guess? I went through stages of cakey orange foundation to watery thin foundation, depending on what I could afford or what was on sale. Over time I started watching less and less 'vloggers' and more and more makeup artists on YouTube. I did consider doing makeup and beauty at college but decided against it as I thought pursuing A levels and University was more important at the time; makeup artistry could wait. And that's where I am now, going into my second year of Sixth Form. But always on the look out for opportunities to improve my makeup skills or work somewhere that utilises my 'beauty knowledge.'

I guess it was getting into makeup so early that created a negative stigma around it for my parents, that hadn't actually faded until recently. I was a young girl trying (and failing) to recreate makeup looks that 20 year olds were posting, it was always going to look bad. I watched these videos as a lifestyle so I knew so much about makeup that I found it weird that my parents thought it was bad,  not the 'norm.' These videos were positive, almost magical to me but when I tried it, I'd get shouted at. Called a 'stupid little girl' for trying something that I adored.

As a teenage girl, it seems as if you can never get it right when it comes to makeup. Wear too much and you're a 'whore', 'attention seeker' or 'self conscious'. Wear too little and you're 'weird', 'young looking' or 'over confident.' Are you kidding society?!

I guess I see makeup a different way to my parents. They see it as a mask, something I use to look like someone I'm not as I'm not 'confident enough in my own skin.' Actually, like most other teenage girls, I'm not 100% confident in my own skin but I don't hate myself. I struggle from incredibly dark under eye circles and I am certain that if I didn't, I would not wear half as much makeup. But as long as I've got enough concealer on to cover my under eye circles, I can go out no problem.

Foundation bro. Not a mask.

I do not use makeup as a mask.

Firstly, I find applying makeup and trying new looks or products fun. Makeup can be an art form and a beautiful one at that.

Secondly, I do have some imperfections and feel a lot more confident in myself when they are covered. This is not meant in a big headed way at all and if you wear makeup then you will know what I mean... But there is no greater feeling than walking through a crowded space and feeling confident in yourself because you know you look great. Some people use shoes to achieve this feeling. Some people use clothes. I use makeup. As I said, as long as I have concealer on, I would not feel embarrassed of myself in public. But there's a big difference between 'not feeling embarrassed' and feeling 'confident'; I would pick confidence every time.

I was talking to my friends about this as we did out makeup before a party and we all agreed on something that kind of scared me. I feel more like myself when I have makeup on than when I don't. Okay don't start ranting about how that's so awful, I know that it's bad. But in the end I prefer myself when I'm confident and feel like a mother f*kin boss. Simples. Also, we all know there's a gradient to makeup. I feel most myself when I have natural makeup on. This is concealer, maybe a BB or foundation, eyebrows, mascara and a thin line of eyeliner. But sometimes I add full coverage foundation, eye shadow, winged liner, contouring and lipstick. This is when I feel my makeup looks the best, most badass, but I also know I don't look exactly 'natural' when I do this. Do you know what though... I still love it.


Demi. Beautiful & confident with or without makeup

Another subject I'm going to touch on is makeup shaming, or shaming of any kind really. This whole thing where people are shaming girls for looking different when she has not got makeup on. Do you know what, people like that are gross. (Sorry for the harsh words.) If a girl looks good with makeup on then the internet should support her. Omg makeup is hard to master and some of these girls being shamed are amazing at makeup and shouldn't be shamed for how skilled they are.

Secondly, do we think all celebrities and models look the same with and without makeup? True, everyone is beautiful both ways but celebrities who we idolise have there makeup done for about 2 hours before appearing at an event.

Thirdly, if this girl is confident enough without makeup to show her 'naked' face online then it's disgusting she is being shamed for it. Not many people have that confidence and by shaming her online, as a society we are literally tearing down any confidence she has.

It also makes other girls that wear a lot of makeup feel worse about how they look without makeup. Cos do you know what, sometimes it's really depressing knowing that you look better with products on your face rather than naturally.

Okay that's my rant over but I hope it kinda got you thinking about your own view on makeup and makeup shaming. I kind of wanted some different perspectives so thought I'd speak to someone else about it.

 I spoke to Sade Reyes; Youtube vlogger and author of Pumps of the Playground about her views on makeup.

1. What got you into makeup?

I love make-up because of the process. It's therapeutic and a great opportunity to be creative. I can be as dramatic or natural as I want. To me it's simply a form of expression and an unappreciated art.

2. How did you get into makeup?

I started wearing makeup at a very young age. I started dancing ballet at the age of 4 and really got serious with dance at the age of 8, which means I was performing a lot so to keep from looking so washed out on stage, my mother would apply blush, eye shadow and bright red lipstick on me. I fell in love with it! It wasn't too out of the norm for me to be seen in makeup because I basically lived on stage!

3. Why do you like makeup?

Now that i'm older, it's all about the process. I love the preparation of getting my skin prepped and primed and then going to work on my face! I ALWAYS listen to the rapper Drake while I do my makeup because I love his music and he just has a way of making a woman feel beautiful! I never rush my makeup even now that I have two children. They know that's mommy's time!

4. What would you say to someone who thinks makeup is 'cheating' or 'fake'?

I've always thought it was funny when people say wearing makeup is faking your beauty or lying to people about how you really look. To me its fashion and a fun way to ENHANCE the beauty you already have. And if you actually think I was ruby red lips naturally then that's on you! I feel beautiful with or without makeup but I prefer to dress up my face just like people dress up their body in nice clothes. Nothing wrong with that!

5. Have you seen the newest 'makeup shaming' trend online? If you have, what are your thoughts?

I think makeup shaming people is the worst because you never know why someone is wearing makeup. Some people wear it as a fashion statement, some people wear it to cover scars that will never go away, and some people wear it because of acne. Being someone who use to wear tons of makeup to cover my acne when I was in high school and then still getting made fun of, it really killed my self esteem. I felt as though no matter what I did, I wasn't pretty enough. I think it's just another way for people to bully other people. If makeup isn't your thing that's fine but don't try to bring down people who do wear it.

6. What misconceptions are you most annoyed about when it comes to makeup?

The misconception that I hate the most is that women who wear makeup have low self esteem so they need makeup to feel better about themselves. I have tons of self esteem and now that i'm older and have really grown into the woman I am and know myself and who I am in this world, I use makeup to enhance my beauty, to express myself, and it's just super fun!

7. Would you encourage family to wear makeup?

I'm 25 now and have a daughter who is almost 9 months old. She's absolutely gorgeous and we tell her that every day. I can speak on this subject not only as a young woman but also as a mother to a daughter. When my daughter Tiana gets older and wants to wear makeup I will let her. I don't see anything wrong with it. Of course, it will be age appropriate so she wont be in middle school with a full face beat the the makeup gods but if she wants to experiment or play dress up with me just for fun I will allow it. I feel if you forbid your daughter from wearing it, she will sneak it, but if you are open and upfront about it they are more likely to wait it out until they are a bit older. In my opinion, i think at the age of 15 is totally fine to start wearing makeup every day. Maybe not heavy foundation but some eye shadow, pretty lipsticks and glosses, and blush are fine. Of course, i want my daughter to follow in my footsteps and dance so she will most likely fall in love with makeup at an early age like I did!

Thank you so much for the help Sade, check her out here!

 
I'd love to hear and discuss this topic so leave a comment below. I know this whole post felt kind of ranty, I guess I'm pretty passionate about this topic. I also wanted to explain how I got into makeup as it's a big topic on my blog. Hope you enjoyed and see you next time,
 

Thursday, 10 September 2015

Surviving Sixth Form Tips

September eh? Didn't see that one coming did we. For most of us, that means starting/continuing with GCSE's/ A Levels or a university degree. Now I cannot talk about starting a university degree as I am not quite there yet. However I can easily share my top tips for starting or continuing your GCSE's or A Levels so that's what I thought I'd do today! My organisational tips are applicable to everyone but I thought I'd also do some sixth form specific tips as its such a different experience to the rest of school! Enjoy... 
 
Organisation
 
 
  • OMG. Folders will probably be your best friends for the next 2 years so buy good ones that you like. Forget stupid patterns that you will regret by next year, buy plain folders in bold colours. If you're doing GCSE's; not all subjects require folders but for some (e.g. history, DT and music), folders are essential.
  • I'd recommend lever arch folders for organising your papers at home (e.g. different topics) but using an A4 Ring Binder to carry the useful papers into school everyday. Mostly because Ring Binders are more spacious but might weigh you down.
  • It's really useful to buy plastic wallets to go into your folders before school even starts. I know from experience that trying to organise months worth of loose paper is a lot more trouble than taking the time to put your paper into a plastic wallet at the end of each lesson. This will also help you later when it comes to revising as your paper will be neat, easy to read and pre-organised chronologically. 
 
  •  Pre-order any books you will be reading before you need them. Before you start shouting that this post is way too late, you will only be studying one book at a time and probably not all at the start so there's no need to panic if you haven't got them yet. But once you have ordered them it's useful because when the time comes you will have it to hand and won't miss out on the first lesson of notes. But make sure you check with your teacher which copy you'll be using; it's so useful to have the same one as your page numbers will correspond everyone else's.
  •   Buy a clear pencil case. This is a simple one. You're gonna need a pencil case for your mock/real exams, you might as well get it now whilst the school supplies are everywhere.
 
 
  •  If your school doesn't provide you with a planner, I'd definitely recommend getting your own. Personally, my school supplies a weekly planner and I don't know what I'd do without it. You'll need somewhere to write down your homework, course work deadlines and extra curricular stuff e.g job shifts.
  • For the next 1/2 years, you're going to be learning topics that should show up in your final exams (unless it's Edexcel physics ey!) If you're anything like the rest of us, you'll leave your revision till the 2 months before your exams. However that doesn't mean you can't help yourself out a bit. Try buying a pack of flash cards and every now and again in lessons, make one on the subject you're covering at the time. By the time revision starts, you will already have a pack of flash cards pre made.
 
Sixth Form
 
Can you guess what subject I was doing some 'further reading' on??
 
  • Make the most of your time- especially free periods. Study, do group projects, research universities or do some further reading. I know chatting is very tempting (and don't just sit in silence) but make sure you get on with something even while your sat with your friends.
  • Talking about reading, do it! If you're looking to go to a top university, you will have had to of read around the subject you want to do and be able to talk about what you've read.. Look online and in the library
  • Talk to your teachers/ tutors. We all pay loads of money for extra tutoring but normally if you ask a teacher (and they have time), they're more than happy to help you outside of lessons if you're struggling. Take advantage of the fact you've got a near expert that will answer any questions you've got to the best of their ability. Also talk to your tutors loads when it comes to universities. If you're aiming for a top (or any university), they will be happy to help and support you with the process. It's great to get them involved as well they will be happy to write you a glowing review.
  • Get a part time job. You will probably need a bit more cash for clothes, travel and books so it's a good idea to get yourself a part time job. (I'll be writing a blog post on first jobs soon!) They also look great on your personal statement as it shows you're taking responsibility.
  • Get as much information about the future as you can. Whether it's an apprenticeships, full time work or university, there's so many ways to get information on our futures, we're almost spoiled for choice. So make the most of it! Your main resource is probably the wide world web as you can find out about almost anything. Apprenticeships opportunities, university degrees and open days, work experience...
  • Set a goal. If you have a goal that you're driven towards, it will be a lot easier to stay focus and motivated on your work. This is important as the work will be so much harder, having a goal kind of reminds you why you're still going.
They're all my tips for now, I hope some of those help if you're starting or continuing through GCSE's / A levels. I'm probably going to be doing a bigger post of tips for sixth form tips but hopefully they're alright to get you into the swing of things!
 
Good luck with whatever you're working on everyone! Remember work hard but have fun!
 
See you next time,

Thursday, 27 August 2015

Hair dying virgin 101

When it comes to colouring my hair, I was a complete virgin. 100% natural, right until 4 days ago. I used to be a natural blonde but recently have been noticing a very clear 'bronde' colour being adopted by my hair. And that's why I dyed my hair... my great desire to be a, not so natural, blonde again. Getting professional highlights would cost over £90 as my hair is long and thick. As a student whose struggling to buy even one pair of Topshop jeans, I  could not justify spending £90 on my hair. So I box dyed it, I thought, why not? For those of you thinking of doing the same thing, I learnt a few things from the whole experience so I thought I'd share my tips for beginners here.


Do your research

Whether you're looking for highlights, whole head dye, ombre or low lights, there's a box for you. Before going into the shop to buy your dye, try looking online first so you know what ranges/brands/prices they have. Try reading some reviews before buying your hair dye, they are useful as they give an unbiased view on how the product actually works rather than trying to sell the product to you.

Don't just buy what is cheap

I made this mistake. It didn't end up too badly, it could've gone a lot worse though. I saw a blonde John Frieda dye was on offer so picked it up. I originally thought I would get a highlight kit but ended up with a whole head dye and had some weird plan to DIY highlights. In the end, I did whole head dye which worked out well. However in future, buy what you want and not what's cheap.


Read the instructions

I followed my own advice with this one luckily. Inside the box you should have a colour, developer, container, gloves/equipment, possibly conditioner and thankfully, instructions. It should tell you how much you need, safety guides and how long it should be developed for. The instructions should also tell you how to rinse it out and when you can next wash your hair. READ THEM. Please! If you need some more information, look online at either the companies website or a detailed blog post from someone that has already written about it.

Get help

Doing a whole head dye on your own is pretty simple. But highlights, lowlights and ombre are all a little more complicated. Whether you ask a friend that dyes her hair a lot or your bff whose just as clueless as you are. A little help is always useful, even if it's to help clip your hair up or as moral support whilst you potentially wreck your hair... Joking!!


Buy a toner
 
If you are going lighter, there's a possibility that your hair might finish with a brassy (gingerish) tint. Don't be put off though. It's actually quite nice but if you're looking for a more platinum blonde, don't panic. To fix this, buy a hair toner. I bought this one. It is a less complicated process than dying and should help counteract the brassy tones.

 
Toners that counteract brassiness are often purple/lilac coloured as it is supposed to be opposite on the colour chart. Basically, what I'm trying to say is don't be alarmed if purple slime emerges from the bottle... It's all normal.



Buy colour protect shampoo/conditioner before

This is a bit of an organisational tip (yep, gotta love them!) So you won't be able to wash your hair for a day or two after dying it. But it's a good idea to buy a colour protect shampoo/conditioner so when you do wash your newly dyed hair, the colour won't be stripped by damaging shampoo/conditioner.

 
Enhancing products
 
If you're worried about your colour fading, buy a shampoo/conditioner that enhances your colour. I bought this shampoo which is a similar idea to the toner. It brightens blondes and is purple to counteract brassiness. You can also find shampoo and conditioners catered specifically towards brunette, red or black hair. I think it's a good idea because it keeps your colour looking fresher for longer. However I haven't actually tried this shampoo yet, I will do a review once I have if that's something any of you are interested in? 
 
Hope you enjoyed that and it helped some of you planning to colour your hair yourself! Have you got any tips beginner hair dyers? Leave a comment down below :)
 
Thanks for reading and see you next time,

Tuesday, 18 August 2015

So you're off to uni (top tips)


As September gets closer and closer, the prospect of actually leaving for Uni is becoming a reality for a lot of people. I was not going to do this post as I'm still in sixth form so cannot give my 'top tips' for uni quite yet. However it's such an important topic for a student blog, I thought I had to include it. But instead of just using tips from online, I talked to people I know that are either at uni, going this year or have finished uni, to put together a post with all their best tips for those of you starting university this Septemmber. Without futher ado, here are top tips for freshers starting university...

 
-Sort out your finances before you go. Make sure you know your weekly/monthly allowance and have a plan to start making an income. Whether that's a job or a summer internship.
 
 
-Try checking your university on social media sites before you leave. Sometimes they have groups set up specifically for freshers so you can start meeting new people before you even get there. At the very least, join the groups so people have an idea of who you are if they happen to see you.
 
 
-As well as making sure you have all the right gadgets, it is a good idea to insure the expensive ones (phones, laptops, tablets) against theft particularly or damage. 


-You do not need to go out and buy all the books on your reading list as soon as you get in. Have a look around because you'll normally be able to borrow them or buy them for cheap from another student or third party website.
 
 
-If you're looking for a job in your university city, go on a day out about 3 weeks before university starts. Hand out your CV to shops and cafe's in the city. If you wait to do this in September, it's a mad rush as all students are trying to get jobs so they all go very quickly.
 
 
-Budgeting is hard as a student so you have to learn to save on the little things. Buy your own beers rather than going out, make your own coffee each morning rather than spending £3 each day on a Starbucks... In the long term, this will add up so you'll be more likely to be able to splurge on the bigger stuff.
 
 
-If you're not a big TV watcher, rather than spending loads on modern cable, try just buying Netflix for £10 per month and use catch up online to watch newer shows.
 
 
 
-Throughout freshers week, infact throughout your whole first year, try to go out and get involved as much as possible. It will help you make friends and build a strong social life. Also, you will have less time to go out in later years due to work overload so make the most of it now.
 
 
-During freshers week, make sure you take the time to get to know your room mates and neighbours. A great tip is to leave your rooms door open whilst you're in so people can come in and chat. (But be sure to close your door when you're out and sleeping of course!)
 
 
-Take plenty of alcohol for freshers week, even if you go out a lot, it can always be stored for when you're running low on money.
 
 
-If you are not a massive drinker/partier, do not be worried or nervous. Just go out with people you meet and get along with, have fun and go with it. You probably won't be best friends with these people forever so just have a good time.
 
 
-Bringing a laptop to uni is a real advantage. It means you can take notes during class and write your work up anywhere rather than relying on computers in the library.
 
 
-Take outs are great but make sure you're not being done over by the price. For example, getting take out curry when it's on offer is good for your budget but don't buy the expensive small portions of rice. Instead, buy a supermarket own brand rice (bread, pasta ect...) which you can keep to use throughout the week/month.
 
 
-Clothes wise, do not stress about your wardrobe too much. Just wear clothes that are comfortable, look decent and kind of reflect who you are. For example, if you are sporty, there's nothing wrong with wearing sports type clothes around campus (to an extent.)
 
 
 
-Take full advantage of student discounts and charity shops because you won't be able to afford full priced high street clothes for very long!
 
 
-At most universities, a humble bike will be your best friend throughout the 3/4 years you are there. Cars are expensive and bad for the environment (plus there's almost no where to park) so are often discouraged by universities. However, don't buy a £1 000 bike, a normal priced bike (even second hand) will do the job. Make sure to invest in some lights as it's a legal requirement to have both front and back lights in the dark; safety wise you might also want to look for a helmet and some kind of fluorescent material that can be attached to either you or the bike. It may not look cool but could save you from some pretty nasty accidents.
 
 
 
I hope some of these tips helped, I'm sorry they're such a random bunch of tips, I just wrote what I was told ;) Anyway, for those of you starting university in September, good luck! I'm sure it will be amazing. Just remember that you're paying a lot to be there so make the most of it as much as possible.
 
Thanks for reading and see you next time
 

Monday, 20 July 2015

Packing for your holiday: Toiletries


Although packing toiletries might seem like a small task, these bottles, liquids and potions are actually quite a stressful part of packing. It might not be what you're packing but how much and where (think carry on or suitcase.) So without further ado, here's my best advice on packing your toiletries.

First you have to get a few things clear in your head:
  • You will need two bags of toiletries: one in your suitcase and one in your hand luggage. We're not doing any swapping about at the airport so lets just try and get it right first time.


  • There will clearly be a restriction on liquids in your hand luggage so please don't take your favourite hand cream in your hand luggage to find out it's too big and lose it forever. *cries violently*

  • Related to the previous point, check the restrictions at your particular airport for liquids in hand luggage before you pack! It's pretty easy to find online but if you really can't find it out, most are 100 ml maximum for each item. Also make sure you have a suitable plastic bag for your liquids in hand luggage, don't be that person that is fussing and flapping at the front of the queue; stressing us all out!

  • You wanna be prepared for everything but don't be stupid.
Okay, so what kind of thing will you need?

- Shampoo and conditioner
- Moisturiser (hand, body and face)
- Face wash (the one that will prevent a break out, no matter what!)
- Makeup remover
- After sun and sun cream (please!!)
- Fake tan or tan maintainer
- Tooth brush & tooth paste
- Deodorant
- You're favourite summer scent (body spray or perfume)
- Insect repellent and insect bite cream (depending on how adventurous you're being)
- Razor or waxing strips
- Roughly 3 nail polishes and nail polish remover
- Hair brush and hair ties (for that unruly holiday hair... we all have it.)
- Medicine (paracetomol, travel sickness, hay fever, diarrhoea as you never know what you're gonna eat)
- Moisturising lip balm

Hmm... that's quite a lot. But being a DofE and 'restricted space' sufferer on family holidays, I have quite a few tips to pack lighter.

  • So although at home I have about 10 different bottles in my shower, that's just not effective while you're on holiday. Forget all your face scrubs, masks and body buffers and restrict yourself! Try a 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner and a face wash that doubles as a makeup remover. If you're desperate for your hair masks and shaving creams, buy some smaller containers so you don't have to take loads of massive bottles. And don't forget that they do sell shampoo in Spain!!
Think about different ways to carry the same thing...

  • The new compressed deodrants by the big brands are great because they're so much smaller but last just as long! A great buy.
  • I would not recommend taking a glass perfume bottle. You could decant a body spray into a small plastic container with a nozzle. If you want to take your favourite perfume, try purchasing something like the travolo so it is a much better size.
Minis!!!!

  • Minis are your new best friend! Personally, I love minis because they're so cute but more importantly they are so useful for holidays and travelling. If you go to a big Boots you can find almost anything mini: toothpaste, moisturiser, face creams, hand creams. Even better is that they do minis of your favourite brands (look out for Soap and Glory minis!)


Advice on what to take

Sometimes its the deciding that really is the hardest part, especially when it comes to nails and makeup.
These are my 3 summer colours- look out for a post on these


I recommend taking about 3 nail varnishes. Any more is a bit over the top and you'll spend more time painting your nails on holiday than actually vacationing. Colour wise, summer holiday is all about light pastel colours. Not only are they more summery but they also make your tan look stunning! My favourite are pale lilac, pale blue/pink and white. *Can we just take a moment to appreciate how stunning white nails look in the summer. Thank you.*

Don't take a whole bottle of nail polish either, most super markets or drug stores normally sell these little pre wet pots of cotton pads. Or you could try out Bourjois magic nail polish remover as it's less fiddly for the summer.

White musk set from The Body Shop
A mini perfume set from Next













Try buying the mini sets that you find in places like the Body shop or Boots. Normally they will contain mini perfumes or mini body washes that all coordinate scent wise so are perfect to take on holiday.

To take straighteners or not to take straighteners: that is the question. And unfortunately, that's the one question I cannot properly answer. As someone that straightens their hair regularly to make it look decent, I can't imagine 2 weeks without straightening my hair. I've kind of forgotten how to style my natural hair... it's got that bad. But on my other shoulder is a little angel telling me how good it would be not to take my straightens. My hair would get a break from constant damage and (no matter how much we insist we like doing it), I'd get a break from straightening my hair. I'll keep you updated on my final decision via twitter.

Whilst on summer holiday, everything is dry. Your hair, your lips, your face. Unless you have particularly oily face or hair, I would 100% go for moisturising everything!! Try Sudocrem for your body if it gets super dry. It's the heat guys, our little hair follicles can't take it. Talking about hair, you might also want to consider taking some kind of 'taming' product. Whether that's a leave-in-conditioner, an oil or a spray. Holiday hair is definitely a thing and (no matter how much you tell yourself otherwise), it will definitely come back again this year unless you do something about it!

Try buying small plastic pots and decanting your fav products


Try to take solids as much as possible. From solid makeup, solid soap, solid perfume, solid body washes to solid shampoo and conditioners (yup, I'm talking about good old lush right now.) These all reduce the risk of leaks into your bag and ruining your clothes. If you have solids that aren't in pre-packaged containers, but them into a small plastic box. Good thing about solids is you can leave them which leaves more space for all your holiday shopping in your suitcase coming home.

Whilst many people take fake tan on holiday, some are not about the whole fake life. A pretty good alternative is either a gradual tanner or tan maintainer. With both of these, there is no awkward application where you turn orange and sticky for 8 hours until you shower which is probably a benefit for your busy holiday schedule. I really recommend the Ambre Solaire After Sun Tan Maintainer. It's kind of like an after sun with a teeny bit of fake tan mixed in; apart from a slight weird smell, you'd never know it was fake tan. In fact I used it last year and I honestly didn't realise it was at all fake tan for about 2 weeks and I noticed how tanned I had gotten.

Okay, being a makeup-oholic, I have been writing this whole post thinking about the massive elephant in the room: what makeup to pack. I have been deliberating whether or not to do a separate post on what makeup to take on holiday and concluded I should. Because it's quite a big topic so this post would be megaaaa long.

 
 
So to finish off this post, I'm finally going to be talking about the age old battle of hand luggage versus suitcase.

Basically, toiletries that go in your hand luggage are anything that you desperately need or you have to use the day you travel. For example, I put most of my makeup in my suitcase so there's no chance of it being "confiscated" at security. However I put minimal makeup on to travel (think bb cream, concealer and mascara), so this would have to go in my hand luggage.
But what else do you need in your hand luggage?
 
- A moisturising lip balm as your lips always get really chapped when flying
- Hand cream (for a similar reason)
- A teeny tiny spray of some kind (like those sample perfumes) to smell nice once you get off the plane
- Maybe a mini deodorant if you're worried about sweating throughout the day
- A mini tooth paste if it's a long flight as you'll probably want to brush your teeth again
- Any medicine for travel sickness or other illnesses
 
 
Most other things like shampoo, conditioner, fake tan and after sun, can go in your suitcase to use once you're there. But be careful to keep them in air tight containers or bags so if they leak they will not ruin your whole suitcase full of clothes.


Thanks for reading and I hope this helped break down packing your toiletries for some of you. In the end, do not stress too much, just try and enjoy your holiday as much as possible.
 
See you next time,
 
* You may or may not have noticed, but this is my first blog post in which I have only used my own photos. I hope it is an improvement but you might have to bare with me for a bit while I work out which are the best angles and where I can find the best lighting! Thank you for sticking with me, Laura x *